Loss, love and learning: Elder Richard G. Scott

In 1995, Elder Richard G. Scott, a member of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, lost his wife to cancer. In the fourteen years since that time, Elder Scott has, on occasion, spoken of this loss and of his experiences coping with it. Below is one such example, an excerpt from a Mormon Conversations interview by Sheri Dew with Elder Scott and his daughter, Linda.

Sheri Dew: Elder Scott, you'd been married, I think, 42 years when Sister Scott passed away. You were then a member of the Twelve. I'm wondering a couple of things associated with that very tender experience. The first is, are there things that you would feel comfortable sharing with us about what you learned in this quite remarkable experience, remarkably difficult experience, of having your wife proceed you in death and ... [second,] you've chosen not to remarry, are there things that you would feel comfortable sharing with us about that?  

Elder Scott: First of all, Sheri, I didn't lose her; she's on the other side of the veil. We've been sealed in that holy ordinance of the temple and we'll be together forever. And at critical times in my life when I need help, I can feel impressions come through the veil in such a way that I just [say] "thank you Janene." So there isn't that loss. The second is, when you get it right the first time, you don't want to mess it up with a second time. We are so close and love each other so very much that I don't have any feeling of need to remarry. I recognize that for some men, there is a very strong support they require from a wife and so they remarry, and I don't question that for them. Janene and I prepared each other in all the ways we could think of for being able to survive well when one of us passed through the veil. I wish she hadn't been the first one, but that's the way it worked out.  

Sheri Dew: Linda, this is such a tender topic. And I love what you said Elder Scott ... you didn't lose her, that's absolutely true. We speak all the time of loss, of feeling a sense of loss because the reality is, and now talking to you Linda, she's not here right now at the moment where you can pick up the phone and talk to her. [A]re there things that you learned - I'm sure there are things you've learned - that you would feel appropriate to share about life and about the Lord and anything else in the fact that your mother has already stepped across the veil.

 Linda Scott: Well, I learned a lot about why she's needed on the other side of the veil. It was hard for me to understand why the Lord didn't think that Dad needed he here. And it taught me of the importance of the things that happen on the other side of the veil and it taught me to see the bigger picture. It also taught me about faith. I learned a great deal about faith. And there were several times when ... for example, there was one when I came to visit and help mom after she had a cancer treatment and we were there at the home and she was very weak and the nurse was not able to put in the I.V. and Dad came and gave her a blessing and then he had to leave to go to the MTC for an assignment. And it was snowing hard outside and I just couldn't understand that; I couldn't understand how he could leave. And it just ... it taught me faith in the priesthood and how he just knew that things would be OK, and they were.  

Sheri Dew: Thank you. Wonderful.

Elder Scott, I want to play an excerpt, a brief excerpt, where you had some things to say about the passing of you're wife:

Fourteen years ago the Lord took my wife beyond the veil. I love her with all my heart, but I have never complained because I know it was His will. I have never asked why but rather what is it that He wants me to learn from this experience. I believe that is a good way to face the unpleasant things in our lives, not complaining but thanking the Lord for the trust He places in us when He gives us the opportunity to overcome difficulties.

What I am trying to teach is that when we keep the temple covenants we have made and when we live righteously in order to maintain the blessings promised by those ordinances, then come what may, we have no reason to worry or to feel despondent.

Sheri Dew: My question, Elder Scott is this: That statement is a remarkable statement of faith ... filled with faith. Do you have counsel for those who are listening and who may have just suffered something devastating in their lives or something that they don't understand or something that has even made them wonder if the Lord knows who they are. Do you have some counsel for them about how you develop the kind of faith that this passage demonstrates?  

Elder Scott: I think just understanding the message of the Restoration that's come through the Prophet Joseph Smith and evidence that there is a Father in Heaven who loves us, a Savior who was willing to lay his life down for us, who's Atonement has made it possible for us to resolve all of the difficult challenges in our lives. When we have that overall understanding of our circumstances here on earth, it is not hard to exercise faith that in times of trial or challenge we'll be supported by a loving Heavenly Father and aided by a Savior who was willing to lay his life down for our benefit.  

Sheri Dew: Thank you.

Linda, this statement from you father and his explanation leads me to want to slip in one more question before we take a little break. What have you learned from your dad and what have you learned about him since your mother passed away?  

Linda Scott: I've learned that even though you have trials and unexpected things that come up in life, the responsibilities are still there, your covenants are still there, the things that we do every day are still there. And you can't put them aside. You just have to keep going and do the best that you can and in time, things get better. But you can't put those responsibilities aside.  

Sheri Dew: And do you see that affecting the way you make decisions and the way that you feel about your life?  

Linda Scott: Yeah, and as an adult now, I might not have seen that right then, but I look back now and think maybe with my little problems, I can't put them aside. I need to move on and take care of responsibilities even though things are tough.