I'll admit it ... I was angry. I felt misused, somewhat betrayed, and woefully misunderstood. And no, I won't go into the details, though, as you might have expected, they involve a representative of the somewhat misnamed "tenderer sex." Suffice it to say, the hike was just what I needed ... a moderately hard, uphill climb to solitude where I could listen to music and tune out. But as my iPod flicked through a particularly enjoyable playlist, a song by Ben Folds popped on that, believe it or not, actually seemed to sum the situation up (I know ... who wants ANY part of their life captured in a Ben Fold's song?). I listened to it three times. And while not entirely on point, the song did seem to capture a lot of my thoughts:
You Don't Know Me At All
"I wanna ask you - Do you ever sit and wonder,
It's so strange that we could be together for
So long, and never know, never care
What goes on in the other one's head?
Things I've felt but I've never said
You said things that I never said
So I'll say something that I should have said long ago:
You don't know me at all
If I'm the person that you think I am,
Clueless chump you seem to think I am,
So easily led astray,
An errant dog who occasionally escapes and needs a shorter leash,
then why the #%^@ would you want me back?!
Maybe it's because ... You don't know me at all."
Last night, I didn't get what happened. In reality, I still don't ... but I'm not about to waste any more time on the matter. A man can only do what he thinks is right; what others think about what he does is entirely beyond his control (and should be beyond his concern).
So say we all.
Well, thanks for reading. It does feel good to get that out there, though it is kind of funny that my first blog post in three months turns out to be nothing more than an elusive (though brief) rant about an obscure moment in my life largely too personal for anyone else to relate to. Funny.