Barestaugmo ...

While texting a friend, the predictive function on my phone pulled up this wonder of a word as the MOST PROBABLE entry. Now, granted, I probably missed a letter (or added one in), but it was hard for me to understand how something like "Barestaugmo" could even be an option (extra letter or not)?

As I thought about it though (and yes, this does reveal a rather Everest-ian level of boredom), I realized that mayhaps this is just my phone's subtle way of encouraging me to break out of society's linguistic sinkhole and really stick it to the man with words that inspire both confusion AND admiration (I mean, people who can come up with words that imaginative should be leading this country ... or at least the BCS).

And what's more, I realized that making up words has a long and glorious tradition. After all, where would the world be if Lewis "the Dodgson" Carroll or ol' Bill hadn't jumped the verbal mores of their day? We certainly wouldn't have words like "chortled" and "galumphing" or "dexterously" and "assassination" (though, of course, in Shakespeare's case he may not have invented the words so much as been the first one to write them down ... still, give the man props).


So in honor of Carroll, Shakespeare and ... my phone, I propose the following words to both gladden the heart and spicen the tongue (most words provided by my phone's predictive text function):

Barestaugmo: Formal name for a class of psychological conditions tied largely to television viewing. Includes, among others, Festaction (an unexplainable need to spend hours watching various reality television shows, esp. The Hills) and Nubbitasteesm (a belief that one is wittier and has a larger vocabulary than one actually does, typically arising after multiple hours of watching Gilmore Girls or Buffy the Vampire Slayer).

Tuckervine: A type of dance originating in the hinterlands of Canada. Performed while wearing up to six layers of thick animal fur, the finer movements of this dance are often indistinguishable from standing. However, practitioners frequently claim that if observers could see their legs, they would be utterly astounded.

Nurtuaj (silent 'j"): A type of creature resembling a large squirrel the makes its home predominately among a library's bookshelves. While sometimes resembling young undergrads with weeks of facial hair growth, these easily-frightened creatures are fond of both peanut butter and soothing music. They are frequently observed towards the end of scholastic semesters.