Bar Break

Covering dozens of topics, asking hundreds of questions, forcing intense review of books upon books of legal rules, and requiring the testing endurance of a Nobel prize winning economist, the bar is the single most daunting academic experience of my life thus far (makes the first year of law school seem like a stroll down cherry tree lane on a warm day in June).

Most of my days are spent crouched over a review book, taking practice tests, or watching any of the dozens of (inane?) lectures covering every legal topic imaginable in order to prepare for that "special day." Nine times out of ten, I probably look (and feel) like this:



But sometimes, there are reasons to laugh.

Where else, other than bar review, would I find questions focusing on the religious rights of "The Lucifers," a Druidic religious group that likes to hold bonfires on mountains to expunge the sins of the world? Or where would I find cities passing statutes to keep their streets from turning into "strip mall jungles illuminated by neon signs from Hell"? And where would I find such fun, diverse, and interesting names as Dryden, Knepper, Yancy, Wapner, Pru, Prell, and Snoop "Piggy" Pigpen (the lead singer for the Deadheads, a popular Santa Cruz rock band)?

So I guess despite all the ick, uck, eck, and arrrggghhh that is bar review, sometimes you just have to take a moment, grab a cold root beer, and enjoy the ride.

Update 1: Funniest. Question. Ever.

Question: A woman with a bladder control problem lived in State X and was angry about the state legislature's rejection of a proposed "Women's Restroom Equity Bill." The legislation would have required all new public buildings to maintain a two-to-one ratio of women's bathroom stalls to men's stalls and urinals. the woman believed this legislation was vital to eliminate longer lines that often form at women's bathrooms. To express her frustration and to attract attention to the issue, she went down to the state capitol building one afternoon, armed with a toilet plunger and a roll of toilet tissue. She held the plunger and roll, as she delivered an angry speech on the capitol building's front steps. "Members of the legislature, shame on you! Judgment day is here for you, and you are doomed! I will strike you down with my mighty plunger, and I will bind you with toilet paper until you can no longer breathe! Legions of warriors for 'potty parity' are ready to do whatever it takes to pass the Women's Restroom Equity Bill! We will put firecrackers in every toilet in this building, until they all overflow and a mighty wave sweeps every legislator out of this building and drowns them!" If the woman is prosecuted for violation of a state statute which prohibits "the making of any threat to the life or safety of a public official in any way related to that official's public duties," what will be the likely outcome of the prosecution?

Answer: The judge will chortle, chuckle and guffaw for a few minutes ... and then throw the case out.