Back at USU, my roommates and I decided to invite some other Bridgerlanders over to make fortune cookies (or it may have been that the other Bridgerlanders and I invited my roommates to join us ... not certain).
In preparation for that lovely event, my roommate (Benjamin Franklin Cummings, a.k.a. Ben of the Silly Laugh) and I set about creating some fun and genre-bending fortunes to stuff inside those delectable shells. As I was giving my inbox a much needed cleaning out, I stumbled across a few of these little gems and, in the interest of nostalgia and humanity, present them here for your viewing pleasure:
(1) On the side of the road, you will find a gift for your brother
(2) A new shirt will attract a stray flock of doves
(3) Beware the Ides of March ... or Brutus ... or both
(4) Neo-Nazi propagandists will give you legal trouble
(5) Swimming fully clothed will save your dog’s life
(6) Sneezing in class will incur the wrath of your professor
(7) You will be assigned to a new partner from a foreign land
(8) A long-forgotten math test will give you an ulcer (literally)
(9) Painting the walls blue will bring good fortune to you
(10) You will find love on the short bus
(11) A dead butterfly in Lichenstein will influence your stock options
(12) Your second class on Tuesday will bring a smiling face from a kind heart
(13) Under the light of the full moon, you will cross your future nemesis
(14) You will enjoy an exotic camel ride through Arizona
(15) A run-in with pagan idols will leave you naked
(16) A break down on the road less traveled will lead to fortune on the highway to hell
(17) Capturing snowflakes on the end of a pencil will guarantee grad school entrance
(18) You will find success working nights at McDonald's
(19) A completed Bachelors degree will give you nothing but trouble
(20) Seeking to become a True Aggie* will bring disastrous results
As you can tell from these tongue-in-cheek send ups, Ben and I saw fortune cookies (and astrology and ... etc.) was all a bunch of flim flam ... but at least we could turn it into some fairly funny flim flam ;)
* NOTE: Look here for a discussion on the hallowed tradition of becoming a True Aggie.
